An apple a day...

If only it were that simple.
Let's start from the beginning.

On Tuesday, April 7th I had my routine yearly "woman doctor" appointment. Being the paranoid girl that I am, I usually psyche myself out pretty bad.

I told myself this year is going to be different.

I went feeling good about my health. I've been exercising, doing yoga, drinking my Seven + and feeling really good over all. I went over each step of the procedure in my mind while driving there; I'd wait in the lobby, be asked to come back, wait in another lobby, get measured and weighed, wait in a room, change in an impossible paper vest thing, breast exam, hmm mmm exam...

During my exam, my Doctor stopped at my neck. His voice changed. He asked me to swallow several times. My palms got sweaty. My heart began to race. This isn't how it's gone before, this is different.



"It seems your Thyroid is enlarged."



"Uhhhhh... Ok?"



"I'd like to run a blood test and schedule you for a Thyroid ultrasound."



What? What? This has never been done before, I've never needed a blood test, let alone an Ultrasound! Those are for very pregnant people, whom I am not one of.

My eyes get a little teary, but I hide it as best as I can. I'm scared.
The rest of the exam is fine. It goes according to plan, but now I'm the "paranoid Lisa of the past". The one I vowed not to be today. They do a quick and painless bloodtest, thanks to an experienced nurse who knows how to take blood and schedule my Ultrasound for the following Monday.

Here is the worst part.

Waiting. Waiting. Paranoia. Pessimism. Waiting. Paranoia.
It's a vicious cycle.

Through the week my mind would constantly wander and access "what ifs?". What if it's cancer? What if they tell me I have 6 months to live? What can I do in 6 months?! That's NO time at all! 6 months! Not leave my husbands side. Well, we'll have to plan a trip to Disneyland! Stay with my husband every other second, the cat too, scrapbook the last things I can so he'll have something to remember me by. And visit everyone that's not near. Say goodbye. Maybe plan a big party...

These are things that are literally going through my head, these long strands of connected thoughts and pretty soon I'm planning my own funeral. I have to stop and breathe. Remember that "LISA YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IF ANYTHING IS WRONG!". And then I talk my own self out of that thought.

It's a pretty emotional thing to not know what's going on with your body. Especially when nothing has ever been wrong. I come from one of the healthiest families, relatively speaking. Our genes are pretty great when it comes to not having weird diseases, diabetes, cancers, etc. Because of that, I think i've taken my good health for granted. I had it in my mind that me, or my family would never deal with things like major sicknesses or disease. It would not be our burdan to bare in this life.

Then I read this post. And it made me a little mad (no offense Carly, I was in an intense emotional state of mind). "To Endure to the End", Would I get an end to endure to? This beautiful couple has come to a hard place in the end of their life, but they had a very long and I assume, happy life together. Would I get that? I want more than ANYTHING in this entire huge crazy world to grow OLD with my best beloved. To start a family, to watch them grow. To be old together, sitting on the front porch on our rockers petting the cat. For the neighbor kids to love me, because I'd make hot, fresh chocolate chip cookies for them and be scared of Nate as he'd yell at them to stay off the lawn, they'd call him "old man Cunningham".

I thought long and hard about this kind of stuff. Screw the botox. Screw the plastic surgery. I'm excited to get old, as long as I can do it with my best friend. And this week I thought that had been taken away from me. And then I realized I had it all wrong. I suppose the enduring part is done by the ones who survive. Some ends are shorter than others.
(for the record, I'm not mad anymore).

Monday came. My husband and I walked hand in hand in the hospital. We were there for about 20 minutes total, that included the paperwork, waiting and ultrasound. It was a very short process.

I got a call on Tuesday, from the most lovely woman. It's not cancer. She even said that specifically, like she knew that word was sitting on the edge of my tongue. It's not even a lump, tumor, knodule, whatever you'd like to call it. I have thyroiditis. Yes, go ahead, click on the link. I didn't know what it was either. Inflammation of the thyroid gland. All of that for inflammation of the thyroid gland. Thank goodness, thank you Lord, heaven, glorious angels, Grandpa, whomever is watching down on me, because I can assure you, someone is.

I have an appointment in 4 weeks with an Endochronologist (gland specialist). There they will diagnose my exact prognosis. There are around 6 different types of thyroiditis. I can easily narrow it down to which specific one I think I have.

It's not drug-induced, postpartum, or radiation-induced. That leaves a few options, one that's considered hereditary, one that's caused by bacteria and one that's a virus. Let's all pray it's one of the latter two. Hopefully something that can be cured with a simple antibiotic or something of that nature.

It's not over, but the hurdle in my mind has been cleared. I suppose this still could be something bad. But, hey, my harp teacher is still living and she doesn't have a gall bladder, kidney or thyroid. And she laughs about it. She makes me feel better.

It's amazing what a little scare will do to ones attitude and outlook on life. I recommend it. It will show you what's important, bring things into perspective and make you take a long hard look at yourself and your life.

I'm now seriously considering writing our own bonafide bucket list, we never know when it will be over. Most of us won't even get a 6 month warning.

Lisa

I love to funkify.

1. In the dry, wintery weather we are experiencing in spring, you, Blistex Silk & Shine have been my saving grace, I thank you. If not for your moisturizing properties, I would no longer have lips.

2. Yesterday I stumbled across a very cool site, befunky.com. If you are looking for a good time waster, this one takes the cake. As you can see from below, I spent quite awhile funkifying a few of my favorite photos. The best part of befunky is that it's free! And you don't have to register. Just upload a photo and play. It allows you to save for free as well. I think I'll do a whole series of warholizing for my hallway, I've been looking for something colorful to add to that boring while wall.

3. I've headed back to my roots lately, listening to a lot of Tom. His voice takes me back to long road trips in the car, cleaning the house in California and my very first concert experience at age 8. This music sounds so much more real and organic to me. Tom was an intregal part of my classic rock upbringing and education provided by my parents, who just so happen to have impeccible taste in music.

I would suggest starting with Full Moon Fever it's amazing. And very singalongable, which is always important. I just purchased Zombie Zoo as my new ring tone and it makes me smile everytime my phone rings, something new for me. Then onto Into The Great Wide Open, another instant classic. Then slow it down with Wildflowers, a slower, more mellow, run and/or fall asleep in a meadow sort of feel.

You could alwasys just cheat and go straight to Greatest Hits, you can never go wrong with a greatest hits, although you do miss all the little treasures along the way. 4. I have diagnosed myself with a serious addiction. It's something my husband might force me into rehab for. A terrible thing that is taking over my life and my wallet. The $5 dvd bin. It is a complete and utter rush when I walk into a Walmart or Target and see that glowing $5 sign over a stack of freshly stocked (if I'm in Target and not Walmart) dvds. So many options of grade b or lower films. But what's $5, right? So what if I have to put back that package of toliet paper so I can own my very own copy of The Truman Show or Uncle Buck? So be it.

The biggest plus is that the $5 dvds have started to include a very wide range or chick flicks new and old. This is what has been giving me a giddy rush the past few weeks. Ever since I realized I could put our portable DVD player in my scrapbook room I have been watching every chick flick I can get my hands. It's good "background noise" for creating. And since I've already seen these classics mulitply times, I don't really have to pay that much attention. It helps out with the creative process. From Sabrina to The First Wives Club, to The Devil Wears Prada and My Best Friend's Wedding, I now have a stack of over 20 (and growing) films I have found in the last few months alone sitting faithfully next to my desk.

I now have been given a limit, 1 purchase per store visit.

5. And finally...the real thing you've been waiting to hear...drum roll please......................................

I can now play "Yankee Doodle" on the harp. Thank you , thank you. Possibly the least graceful thing I could play, but then again the harp at least lends some grace to anything. This week I'm tackling "Are you Sleeping?" and "Lavender Blue".

Peace.

I Love...Tattoos?

Well, I'm not. So you don't have to guess. I have gone through many stages where I thought about and almost went through with getting a tattoo. Luckily, one might say, or with my undecisive behavior, I never did go through with it.

My religious beliefs now keep me from getting one, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't want to. Or wouldn't love to, for that matter. If I lived a different life than I do now, I would be a walking piece of art.

I had a client a few days ago who just got the most beautiful fairy on the entire right side of her back. It made me start to think what I would get IF I were to get a tattoo.

1. I have this fantasy where I have a secret treasure map tattooed on my back. Pirates kidnap me because they know about the map but can't kill me because I AM the map. Is that a movie?

2. I've always wanted a mermaid tattoo. Not only for my love of The Little Mermaid, and my obsession with mermaids since a young child, but they may just be one of the coolest "fantasy creatures" of all time. Maybe a combination of these two. Although I do like the silhouetted look of Ariel. Maybe a little less volumptuous from the second. I would maybe even have her playing a harp...

{If you are as much of a mermaid fan as I am, then check out this article. It made my dreams come true. Nate, Christmas isn't too far off...}

3. It would also be pretty sweet to have a tat of a poem or some song lyrics that are meaningful. At this stage in my life I'd most likely do a verse from one of "our songs", as in Nate and I. Maybe "this is the correlation of salvation and love". That would be awesome as a bracelet or maybe a few short rows on my shoulder blade. I would do it in my favorite font, cezanne. It is beautiful and makes anything look romantic and poetic.

4. A few years back at Warped Tour, I saw a girl with the coolest tattoo. It was a stretched out barcode around her bicep. Now, i'm not normally a fan of arm bands, but this was unique. You had to sit and stare for awhile to figure out what it was. You would have to have killer arms, though, to bring that kind of attention to them.

5. Or maybe something really delicate like this. Great font, simple and to the point.

The End.

Lisa

Oh. Hi.

1. Have you listened to "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" covered by Greg Laswell? If you have not, stop what you are doing and click here. It's number 4. It makes my brain slow down, feel good and tired. He has a soothing voice. I kinda want to stand up and slowly twirl in circles, like I'm 4 years old again. Listen to it and close your eyes. You will feel the same. If not...then don't.

2. I have a harp in my living room. Yes, a beautiful, wooden, stringed instrument. I'm scared to touch it. It's too beautiful. Archimedes sits in front of it like he's its protector. He knows it's important and fragile. This is what it looks like, a Camac Korrigan in Mahogany.

The interest sparked while living in California with my Father and little sister one summer. We would frequent a weekly farmer's market that was within walking distance of our apartment. The three of us would wander, tasting the delectable treasures offered. My favorite, the different varieties of fresh peaches. Fresh flowers, handmade trinkets, local paintings, the freshest most delightful assortment of fruits and vegetables lined the streets.

And every Sunday a woman named Carol Tatum would play her harp. Electric even. I would sit on the bench directly across from her and stare and listen. She was beautiful and kind. She would play "Nothing Else Mattters" by Metallica and it sounded like a prayer from the heavens. I purchased two cds from her. She was kind enough to sign them.

At that point I knew I would learn to play the harp. It only took years, but the opportunity has risen and I'm grabbing it with both hands.

3. If it had not sold out, I would've bought this for my honey for V day. Ah, how etsy steals my heart and knows me so well. Sigh.



Yes, that is a Zombie Love Patch. He had to settle for these instead.



4. Speaking of food...my latest obsession has been this beauty.

Thanks to the food network and this recipe, I've found lemon curd. It's delicious and tangy and smooth and wonderful . If you are a lemon fan, I definately recommend trying it. These two recipes are going up next on the chopping block. They both look divine and reminescent of Summer, which we all need right now, right? If you have any recipes that include lemon curd, please let me know! I'm now addicted.

Mmmm..I hope those turn out as good as they look.

5. Again, speaking of food...

Coming to Draper, UT Fall 2009. All rejoice. Only my dear husband would find this lovely lego version.

6. I really want this shirt from Cafe Press. It's very subtle. And cute. Anyone else excited for this? I am.

7. Check out this wicked cool etsy site. My cutest name twin, aka the other Lisa Cunningham, has stated her own etsy shop. She is quite gifted. Her slouchy hats are adorable. She gave me one in a mustardy color for my birthday and I love, love, love it. It's awesome because so far I can wear it 3 different ways and they all look cute! I wore it to my little sis' play and felt very "warm and trendy", although Nate says both of those are things to avoid.

That's all for today.

Lisa